Marriage: Strengthening Your Marriage
Marriage can be bliss and a trial. Sometimes it is the happiest time of our lives and other times it is the hardest.
There is a lot of advice that can be found for newlywed couples on the Internet. Most of the advice applies just as strongly to non-newlyweds.
If you are trying to strengthen your marriage or repair it, make sure that you listen to the other person. Misunderstandings can be avoided if you have strong communication skills with your spouse.
A strong communication skill does not mean yelling to get your point across, but developing good communication skills. Yelling can be one of the weakest forms of communication.
It is also important to support your spouse no matter what. You can do this through not saying anything negative about them in public.
This rule applies even when you are feeling angry, frustrated, or concerned about your spouse. Those feelings should be discussed and resolved in private under a canopy of love and understanding with your spouse.
While it is important to discuss these things, think ahead about when you will discuss them. Some couples decide to never discuss important things after 10:00 PM because they will be too tired to think rationally.
They realize that after this time, discussions are more likely to lead to an argument than a resolution. In the morning they are more rational and more willing to consider their spouse’s point of view.
When you do have a complaint against something your spouse does, examine yourself first for faults. Get rid of these before you criticize your spouse.
Whatever you do, do not complain about your spouse to a friend or other family member. The things that you find a fault often fade and become less important to you as you serve them by not sharing these faults.
By serving your spouse you will find that it is easier to love them more than you have been able to in the past. When you love them more and they are happy, you will find that you are happier as well.
Another way to serve your spouse is to put their wants before your own. For husbands, be a gentleman to your wife by opening doors and showing courtesy to them.
Wives can make their husbands their favorite dinner or be more mindful of how they spend the money that their husband works so hard for. There are billions of ways to serve and love your spouse if you look for them and are willing to spend the time doing the service.
Your service can be reinforced by saying phrases like “I love you” and “I appreciate….” When your spouse feels appreciated that love is between you will grow.
If you attend a church consider praying with your spouse. Or find other meaningful things to do together.
Continue to go on dates after you are married. Your relationship began through dating, and it can continue through dating.
You and your spouse are both continuing to learn and grow through daily experiences. When you share these experiences with each other, then both of you will grow together.
If your spouse is working hard in the garden on Saturday morning, think about joining them in doing yard work. Working together is a great way to build the bond between you.
Stay at home mothers often struggle with doing the same things over and over while watching their husband accomplish great things such as graduating from school or making major accomplishments for their work.
They should remember that they are supporting their husband’s accomplishment is just as much their own. After all, they supported their husband through school and work.
Arguments are bound to arise sometimes in a marriage. When an argument does arise, if you have the choice to be right or for peace in your marriage, choose the peace.
Hard times are also bound to come along in a marriage. It is your choice whether these things will strengthen your marriage or destroy it.
Remember that you choose your spouse because they were your best friend. No matter where you are in your marriage you can strengthen and repair this friendship, but it is up to you.
Jack R. Landry has worked as a marriage counselor since the 80s. He has been married to his wife, Judy, for the past 33 years but he recognizes that everyone needs help to saving your marriage.
Contact Info:
Jack R. Landry
JackRLandry@gmail.com
http://www.survive-divorce.com